Posted by Dan on May 17, 2011 in Blog | 1 comment
Not easy. Not fun. Though I am learning to be content in all things ( a wise phrase I found in a good book…) I would be dishonest if I said much of what I was going through was either easy or fun. In fact, lately it’s been incredibly difficult.
The pain has been deep.
The tears have been many.
But.
What if…
All of this is by design. And what if there is a plan for me to be completely free.
Utterly, unabashedly free.
Free.
From everything that has ever held me back.
What if I am being drawn and shaped and propelled into something unlike anything I have ever been before?
As you most certainly know by now, free is actually very expensive. Until we are put in a choke hold and choked-out or are awakened in the middle of the night unable to breathe through our nostrils, we don’t realize how wonderful it is to breathe freely. You see, I’ve been in a position where I thought I could control my life better than Jehovah. I made it extremely clear that He made a mistake and I was displeased with His action.
Being the awesome Father He is, He removed a portion of His covering from my life and let me do it on my own.
I failed miserably. Miserably to the point of losing my mind. Conscious: I heard voices and saw inanimate objects come to life. Unconcious: there was a constant battle between Good and Evil. The funny thing about Good, it just stood still most of the time while Evil fought fiercely.
I believe the question you posed is rhetorical so I will not answer it but what I will do is remind you that free isn’t free at all, it’s very expensive. But boy it’s worth it in the end!